Lifestyle

13 Weird, Wonderful and What the hell Barbie dolls

So Barbie can be like marmite to a whole host of people but to me I both love and hate her, the message she shares at times is so important to female empowerment but at others… just completely of the mark and honestly, at times quite worrying. Never really know how to feel about these so here are my take on the best of the worst Barbies ever released

The Birds Barbie. This Barbie came out in 2008 in honour of the movie The Birds by Hitchcock, the horror movie where birds attack humans trying to eat them.. Those birds there trying to eat barbie. Not very well thought out Mattel

Barbie forever and Tanner, now I don’t have much to say on this one it speaks for itself really. Just so you know how this toy works. Tanner defecates and barbie uses her magnetic poopa scoopa to pick it up and then…. FEEDS IT BACK TO TANNER. What even?! Oh yeah also the doll was recalled because the magnet could get loose and be swallowed by children. At least we now have a explanation for the magnetic boy (an actual thing, google it you won’t be disappointed)

Totally Stylin Tattoos. So I’m not a boomer who is going to complain about tattoos and say they are the devil etc I have tattoos, my partner has tattoos, When getting one of my tattoos designed I even let my daughter get a little felt tip tattoo drawn on her by the tattoo but I’m not sure I agree with them being thrust in their face quite so much as this doll does

Slumber Party Barbie, Oh Mattel… How to lose weight, don’t eat. Just what children needed to be told in an already unforgiving society. Though not that unforgiving as this was actually released in 1965, you know after the civil rights act was passed.

Red Riding hood Barbie because why not take a story about a 8 year old and turn her into a sex symbol then sell her to children. It’s not like paedophilia is a problem, oh wait… it is.

Lounge Kitties Barbie. I don’t think I need to say anything at all on this one

Teen talk barbie, this one kinda gets my blood boiling. It’s important to say that this was released in 1992, a time you would expect Mattel had some pretty uplifting things to say through the mouth of Barbie but nope, why bring little girls up when you can knock them down and try to create children from a thankfully bygone era. Teen talk barbie won’t tell you, she is proud of you or you can do anything you set your heart on, or that you are beautiful without trying instead she will tell you; math is hard, I love shopping, what kind of wedding will you have, let’s try on dresses. The doll was that bad The Simpsons even made a joke out of it basing there talking Malibu Stacy on it, remember that phrase “don’t ask me, I’m just a girl”

Wash & Watch diswasher. So, Barbie can now be anything what do Mattel do with that you ask? Release a wash & watch dishwashing toy.. because washing dishes is hard? It was the time you might say to yourself but no this doll was not released in the 40s or even in the 60s it was released in 1991. What? What?!

Elvis & Priscilla. How sweet a doll to commemorate the relationship of a man who started a relationship with a 14 year old girl when he was 24, oh yeah not to forget, a 14 year old girl that he plied with drugs. Not so sweet when you know the details maybe that’s why Mattel didn’t give them a back story on the box. Not that great for sales I would assume

Kissing Barbie the Barbie that actually juts forward to plant a kiss on your lips with her puckered lips.. not at all inappropriate

Growing up Skipper would have the number one spot if that wasn’t taken up by something beyond awful. So, what does she do you may ask well she starts as a little girl until you spin her arm around and oop out pop her breasts. What?! Am I the only one that actually feels worse for Skipper in this situation? Nobody needs that part of there fake doll life publicised.

And the weird to trump all weird… Pregnant Barbie, give her a clap this will definitely be the worst doll of all time, I hope, I would not want to see what beats this doll. I’m all for the beauty of child birth but children popping Barbies belly off to see the baby hanging inside? No I’m out, I don’t even what life is anymore.

Now all those awful Mattel decisions are out of the way time for the best one they ever made it’s Magic Earring Ken a very obviously gay ken that was ‘accidentally’ made by Mattel complete with c**k ring hanging from his neck in line with fashion for gay man during the time.As with pregnant barbie nobody is topping this and I was 10 immediately!!

Do you know of any other weird or even wonderful barbies made that you think should be on this list? Get in touch and don’t forget to hit subscribe before you leave to be one of the first to see all new content and maybe even win some freebies!

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